By Alicia Couri
Host, Unleash Your Audacious Confidence Podcast
What if the missing piece in your leadership wasn’t a new title, degree, or productivity hack, but your own body?
In the latest episode of Unleash Your Audacious Confidence, I had the deeply transformative pleasure of interviewing Mx. Lena Queen, a decolonial somatic sexologist who is revolutionizing how we understand the erotic, not just in the bedroom, but in boardrooms, decisions, and self-leadership.
This conversation was not what I expected. It was better. It was bolder. It was truth.
The Erotic as Energy, Not Taboo
Most of us were taught to associate “erotic” with shame, secrecy, or something overtly sexual. But Queen defines the erotic as the energy of desire, both sexual and non-sexual, that drives how we show up in the world.
Desire is not indulgent.
Desire is intelligence.
And ignoring it can cost us our self-trust, our confidence, and our ability to lead from truth.
“Desire is actually a drive that is needed in order to thrive,” Queen shared. “It’s not selfish. It’s not shameful. It’s essential.”
Unpacking the Shame That Silences
We went deep into the racialized, gendered, and colonial messaging that teaches Black women especially to disconnect from their bodies. We are raised to perform. To share. To please. But rarely are we taught to discern. To trust. To desire.
Queen explained that the shame we carry about our bodies, our skin, our wants, is not just personal. It’s generational. It’s systemic. And it’s held somatically.
“I had to give myself permission to decenter other people’s perceptions,” Queen said.
That line stopped me in my tracks.
What Leadership Looks Like When You Feel Safe in Your Skin
As women in leadership, we are often told:
To be more assertive… but not too aggressive.
To speak up… but not too loud.
To be feminine… but not too emotional.
These contradictions are exhausting, and they disconnect us from the intuitive power of our erotic energy.
But when we embrace erotic intelligence, Queen says, we reconnect with:
- Somatic safety (feeling at home in your body)
- Emotional intelligence (naming and navigating emotions)
- Presence (making aligned decisions from self-awareness)
It’s not just about reclaiming pleasure. It’s about reclaiming power.
Healing Is a Leadership Skill
One of the most profound moments in our conversation was when Queen said:
“Trust is not built by bypassing discomfort. It’s built through co-regulation, self-awareness, and presence.”
And that’s when it hit me: this is what audacious confidence truly looks like. Not perfection. Not performance. But embodied truth.
It’s time we stop leaving our bodies and our power out of the leadership conversation.
Final Word: Start With Self-Trust
We wrapped the episode with this powerful call to action:
Slow down. Breathe. Question what you’ve been taught.
Your desires are not distractions. They’re direction.
And when you begin to listen to your body, your leadership becomes magnetic.
🔗 Listen to the full episode with Lena Queen on RedCarpetCEO.com or watch on YouTube here
📝 Connect with Lena Queen for speaking, coaching, or healing work via the show notes.
🎙️ New episodes of Unleash Your Audacious Confidence drop every Monday.
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